Conatus and the connotations of the desert within me

JUST AS THE AUTHOR DECIDES TO COMMIT SUICIDE, he is interrupted by an unknown woman. This woman, Lena, saves him from the suicidal action and disappears from the place where they were. He
then starts desperately looking for her in the city
of San Pedro. When he finds her, he discovers
that she had met, through Baruch, through a metaphysical encounter, the God of Spinoza. Lena, then, using her story, also lived in Atacama, presents this God, called Nature, to the author